Friday, December 12, 2008

The other side of Kosovo

Guten Tag all,

Life here in Virginia can get quite boring when your waiting for your class to pick up and all you get put on is working parties. HOWEVER! There is a place by which we call Counter Intelligence that goes through many field exercise and the Intelligence Specialists (ME) get to help out this exercise. We wake up at around 0515 and step it out about a mile and a half to the Counter Intel part of the base while wearing our civilian attire. In this exercise I got to play an Iraqi villager in a mock town in Iraq obviously. I can honestly say I have never had so much fun in my entire life. The day was extremely cold though making our exercise somewhat miserable at times. My buddy Sanders and I got to have our own little house. As you can see in the picture below we are proud of our Iraqi home especially my friend steve here who was angry because his girlfriend of 5 years cheated on him. Photobucket After getting familiarized with our house which was actually pretty nicely set up and we heard stories about people having sexual relations inside the house. Those select stories made us look at the beds in our house in a whole new light. Photobucket We had little a little Cafe', Jail, Church, Gas Station, Grave Yard, and City Hall all in this little mock village. The coolest part was working with these paid civilian actors for the whole exercise to make it as authentic as possible. I met some of the funniest people in my life doing this. We all talked in an Iraqi accent making everything even more funny than it possibly could have. Whenever we had free time we would BBQ and just stand around telling jokes which I had the privelage of taking a video of. Its kind of hard to understand but there are more videos further down of what we actually did as far as working with the Marines. One of the things I loved to do was go up to a marine and say "Why is Marine looking at Female? Is rude. You know this yes?" I would then tell our Constaple or City Cop and he actually got really into it at one point and was trying to address a Marine and the Marine would not respond. So the Constaple threw his sandwich at the Marine and we both started yelling at him telling him to get out of our country and stop looking at our women. The Marine almost lost his bearing and wanted to do physical harm to us. Sometimes the Cheif of the Navy who ran the whole exercise would come up to me and tell me to do random things like stand in the middle of the road with my AK-47 and just stare at the Marines. I loved saying things like "Go back to America with your Pornography and Rap music." Whenever a Marine came up to to socialize and get information from me I told them my name was Hac Jabar and I was a famous singer in Kosovo. Photobucket We would do random patrols with the Marines and usually turned into us getting mad at them and telling them to get out of America which was more than fun to act out and made the 12 hour exercise go by so fast. We had some pretty cool scenarios for them for instance we had a News crew come in and Interview the Marines about all the gunshots they have been hearing. Some things were pretty intense and were actually well acted out. They have whole scripts for these exercises so its like being in a play where the Marines are the interactive audience. The most intense thing we did was we have a sheep herder get arrested for carrying hidden weapons in his house and got caught. We acted out him getting dragged to Jail and getting beaten to a pulp. None of the Marines did anything, they just listened. The instructors were very dissappointed in their Marines. Photobucket But the best part of this all was sitting in the Cafe' waiting for our next plan of attack on the Marines. We had more than enough time to talk to all the different people. It's cool to see how all the people came together here in this fake Iraqi town in this fake Iraqi Cafe'. We learned about all their walks of life and all the mistakes they made and what we should and shouldnt do in order to be what one might call successful. It was a cool experience to hear what everyone had to say. We were all different and were all there for different reasons but it came down to us acting like Iraqis to help Marines. It seemes like we were the ones that needed most of the help considering it was like listening to an episode of Dr. Phil. All I can say is that learning about other peoples lives is a great way to find out about the human ego. Its also interesting to be playing an enemy of a brotherhood I am personally apart of. It makes you look at life in a different way. Sometimes we need to go to the opposite side of the mirror and see who is looking through what. THUS...counter intelligence...thus LIFE.

THE Spencer Schultz

p.s. the videos will be up soon...the computer here is half man half bear half pig so it's hard to do much on it. But please taste the new pictures they are quite nice this time of year.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Imagine if you will...

I heard a rumor that after Boot Camp life in the Marine Corps gets so fun that you can not contain yourself and you sneeze lolli pops and poop dough nuts. Well ladies and gentlemen of the civilian world let me be the first to tell you that this is not the case. Marine Combat Training took place in bi polar weathered Camp Pendelton. It must have been a perfect time of the year in that area because the mornings were freezing and the days were extremely hot. The combat instructors were cool but made fun of me a lot for my extremely stylish glasses as shown in the picture below. They asked me if I could see into the future and asked how the weather was going to be in a couple of days. Those jokes never got old and I laughed to the point of tears every time.
We shot so many types of weapons that by the time I was done I did not care that my primary job in the Marine Corps had nothing to do with holding a gun. The coolest thing I got to do was throw a grenade that makes a nice boom. The final test at Marine Combat Training is called the FEX or Field Exercise which consists of hiking 9 1/2 miles to a big patch of dirt where you have to dig a whole and then sleep in it for a day and a half. After that you hike down to a mock PhotobucketPhotobucket
base that resembles the ones we have in Iraq. You do patrols and do what they call QRF or Quick Reaction Force which means when we get attacked by Iraqis we get called to run out there and shoot blanks at them. The night of the FEX it started pouring rain into our tents and we fell asleep in puddles. The next morning all the combat instructors told us we looked miserable and welcomed us to a grunts life. I didnt understand the welcome considering I didnt sign up to be a grunt. Marine Combat Training was by no means fun in any way, shape or form. The only cool thing was that one of my combat instructors was from Vallejo, CA who was a scout sniper and he was a wise man. I felt like Frodo talking to Gandalf in Lord of the Rings. But Marine Combate Training was not the end for me. Soon after I graduated I flew off to Norfolk VA.
Arriving into Norfolk was great because it was freezing cold and I was wearing my California boy attire. The ride to Virginia Beach took about twenty minutes to get to this beautiful base. This base is actually not beautiful at all. It reminds me of the first scene in Silence of the Lambs where Clarice is running through the woods in Quantico. I figure any place that reminds me of Silence of the Lambs can not be a good thing. The living facilities are quite nice though, I would say on par with a small apartment/big dorm room. It's nice to be living in my room however I room with a Lance Corporal who used to be a Sergeant that got demoted because he got in too many fights. I wake up in the middle of the night because his alarm clock goes off and he sleeps right through it because of his experiences in Iraq he has aquired being a heavy sleeper. Lucky me. PhotobucketAs you can see I am in a nice part of Virginia however the Virginia females are just not the same as the ones from California. When I introduced myself to my class all the females were laughing and came to talk to me after. They reminded me of a petting zoo, treating me like I was an animal surrounding me like I was fresh meat. I can honestly say I am not attracted to any females in the Marine Corps. The Navy however, has some good looking females but I am under the impression they dont like what I have to offer.
Every morning we march to this place called the NMITC or Navy and Marines Intelligence Training Center which requires a security clearence to get into the building. You get an ID badge that makes you feel special for about a half an hour then you get over it. PhotobucketI have not classed up yet so I don't do anything besides pre classes which are funny because the Sergeants who teach them have the most dry humor in the world. My class which is the Black Team picks up on January 5th. I have only heard that classing up is depressing because classes last all day and you have to study a lot. The good thing about classes though is that it involves a lot of public speaking and you can incorporate a lot of humor into them so I do so whenever I can. We still PT here all the time and learn Martial Arts while the Navy runs around the track about four times and calls it a day.
Photobucket This place kind of feels like High School sometimes because people actually date here which seems like a complete joke. I have not taken one couple seriously here so they kind of don't like me. I ask them questions like "Are you two lovers?" And they look at me like I am a Nazi asking a Jew for his papers. I hope to have more stories and pictures for you in the future but please stay tuned because I hear there is a twist to next weeks episode.

Spencer "The FUNK lord of USA" Schultz