Imagine if you will...

I heard a rumor that after Boot Camp life in the Marine Corps gets so fun that you can not contain yourself and you sneeze lolli pops and poop dough nuts. Well ladies and gentlemen of the civilian world let me be the first to tell you that this is not the case. Marine Combat Training took place in bi polar weathered Camp Pendelton. It must have been a perfect time of the year in that area because the mornings were freezing and the days were extremely hot. The combat instructors were cool but made fun of me a lot for my extremely stylish glasses as shown in the picture below. They asked me if I could see into the future and asked how the weather was going to be in a couple of days. Those jokes never got old and I laughed to the point of tears every time.
We shot so many types of weapons that by the time I was done I did not care that my primary job in the Marine Corps had nothing to do with holding a gun. The coolest thing I got to do was throw a grenade that makes a nice boom. The final test at Marine Combat Training is called the FEX or Field Exercise which consists of hiking 9 1/2 miles to a big patch of dirt where you have to dig a whole and then sleep in it for a day and a half. After that you hike down to a mock
base that resembles the ones we have in Iraq. You do patrols and do what they call QRF or Quick Reaction Force which means when we get attacked by Iraqis we get called to run out there and shoot blanks at them. The night of the FEX it started pouring rain into our tents and we fell asleep in puddles. The next morning all the combat instructors told us we looked miserable and welcomed us to a grunts life. I didnt understand the welcome considering I didnt sign up to be a grunt. Marine Combat Training was by no means fun in any way, shape or form. The only cool thing was that one of my combat instructors was from Vallejo, CA who was a scout sniper and he was a wise man. I felt like Frodo talking to Gandalf in Lord of the Rings. But Marine Combate Training was not the end for me. Soon after I graduated I flew off to Norfolk VA.
Arriving into Norfolk was great because it was freezing cold and I was wearing my California boy attire. The ride to Virginia Beach took about twenty minutes to get to this beautiful base. This base is actually not beautiful at all. It reminds me of the first scene in Silence of the Lambs where Clarice is running through the woods in Quantico. I figure any place that reminds me of Silence of the Lambs can not be a good thing. The living facilities are quite nice though, I would say on par with a small apartment/big dorm room. It's nice to be living in my room however I room with a Lance Corporal who used to be a Sergeant that got demoted because he got in too many fights. I wake up in the middle of the night because his alarm clock goes off and he sleeps right through it because of his experiences in Iraq he has aquired being a heavy sleeper. Lucky me. As you can see I am in a nice part of Virginia however the Virginia females are just not the same as the ones from California. When I introduced myself to my class all the females were laughing and came to talk to me after. They reminded me of a petting zoo, treating me like I was an animal surrounding me like I was fresh meat. I can honestly say I am not attracted to any females in the Marine Corps. The Navy however, has some good looking females but I am under the impression they dont like what I have to offer.
Every morning we march to this place called the NMITC or Navy and Marines Intelligence Training Center which requires a security clearence to get into the building. You get an ID badge that makes you feel special for about a half an hour then you get over it. I have not classed up yet so I don't do anything besides pre classes which are funny because the Sergeants who teach them have the most dry humor in the world. My class which is the Black Team picks up on January 5th. I have only heard that classing up is depressing because classes last all day and you have to study a lot. The good thing about classes though is that it involves a lot of public speaking and you can incorporate a lot of humor into them so I do so whenever I can. We still PT here all the time and learn Martial Arts while the Navy runs around the track about four times and calls it a day.
This place kind of feels like High School sometimes because people actually date here which seems like a complete joke. I have not taken one couple seriously here so they kind of don't like me. I ask them questions like "Are you two lovers?" And they look at me like I am a Nazi asking a Jew for his papers. I hope to have more stories and pictures for you in the future but please stay tuned because I hear there is a twist to next weeks episode.

Spencer "The FUNK lord of USA" Schultz